A new star in the sky…. Our darling Naamfon
October 18, 2015
This is so hard to write… How can I possibly compose a blog entry, when I am struggling to compose myself??
Yesterday, was one of the toughest days we have ever known here at BLES… At around 6.30am, Phi Tien came running up to my house and told me he had found Naamfon lying down, unable to stand. I ran as fast as I could in to the forest and found her. She was on her side, her body was shaking. I told Phi Tien to phone all the mahouts and tell them to come as quickly as possible. As I watched him leave, I noticed Pang Suai and Pang Noi in the lake, submerging themselves in the water and enjoying an early morning swim…
I went to Naamfon and knelt in front of her. She locked her gaze on me and lifted her head as much as she could off the ground reaching out to me with her trunk. I took her trunk in my hands and squeezed her tight. Her breathing was very laboured and I could tell she was trying to stand. I kept hold of her trunk and noticed she was gently squeezing my hands. Her eyes were still locked on me and as I whispered to her, telling her over and over how much we loved her, I noticed a bright yellow butterfly settle on her cheek. I tried so hard to stay strong for Naamfon, but I knew what was happening and could not stop the tears from falling. The butterfly fluttered up towards Naamfon’s shoulder and I realised Naamfon no longer had a tight grip on my hands. I looked down at her trunk and my hands holding on to each other. My tears had made small puddles in the deep crevices of her beautiful trunk. I squeezed her as tight as I could and begged her not to go, but it I knew it was too late. As I lifted my head and looked in to her eyes, I saw a tear roll down her face. After more than sixty years of being enslaved by humans, Naamfon was finally free of this world.
I stayed with Naamfon, stroking her and holding her. Despite the fact I was sobbing, I kept on talking to her, telling her how beautiful she was and how sorry I was for all the pain and heartache she had endured throughout her life. We were alone, in the long grass, in the middle of thick forest – Naamfon, me and the yellow butterfly. It was so peaceful and there was a cool, gentle breeze that seemed to lift us up off the ground. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath…
After what felt like many long hours, the mahouts arrived. They rushed to help, but as they got closer, they could see it was too late. They gathered and stood in silence. It was incredible to sit there and feel the respect and love radiate from them, to her. Naamfon’s mahout, Phi Duery, stepped closer. I looked up at him and smiled, thanking him for ensuring the last eleven and a half months of her life were filled with care, love and understanding. He couldn’t speak. I could see he was shaking and decided to step back and allow him the time and privacy he needed to say whatever he wanted to say to her.
As the day unfolded, the reality that Naamfon was gone came in waves. We all took it in turns to lay flowers and fruit by her body and as it started to rain, we covered in her in her deep turquoise coat, that had been specially made for her. I stood there, thinking how beautiful she looked and remembered how she looked just as stunning wearing her coat the day we rescued her. She stood in the truck, with her head high and her trunk in the air, wrapped up in her coat, to protect her from the wind and rain… It is hard to accept that we made that long journey with her, less than a year ago…
Four monks from the local temple came and blessed Naamfon. As they chanted, I looked around at the mahouts, the housekeepers, my guests, my children and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and gratefulness. We are a small group of people and we work together, every single day to better the wellbeing of all the animals in our care. It’s not an easy life and the highs and lows can be debilitating. But we continue on, supporting each other and loving each other as if we are family. Our elephants are just as much a part of our family and even though Naamfon’s time with us was brief, I know she knew how very loved and admired she was by us all.
We had gathered a pile of all of Naamfon’s favourite treats, from pineapples, to longons. I noticed a fig tree close by… Naamfon would stand under the fig trees for hours, hoovering up the sweet fruits that had fallen to the ground. I caught Phi Duery’s eye and he knew what I was thinking instantly. Without muttering a word, we both set to work, collecting as many of the figs as we could carry to complete the fruit offering.
The housekeepers had gathered flowers and once everyone was together, we stood around Naamfon’s grave and sprinkled petals into it. There was a sweet chorus of loving words that fell in to the grave with the petals and again, I was overcome with emotion. This is a BLES tradition. When we lose one of our beloved elephants, we line the grave with flower petals. This is our symbolic and united apology to the elephants. After a lifetime of chains, may they lie, forever in peace, on a bed of flowers…
Naamfon’s body was carefully lifted and lowered in to the grave. As we watched her slowly rise, the sun shining behind her, a light sprinkle of rain caressed us in our moments of grief, which was significant as Naamfon is Thai for rain water.
It was incredible – Naamfon held on tightly to the flowers that had been placed in her trunk and did not let them go, despite being in the air and then laid down to rest. We stood in silence and a variety of butterflies danced amongst us. I look up to the sky and was momentarily mesmerised by the dozens of dragonflies… The Universe was telling us that Naamfon was free…
As the digger truck covered her body with dirt, I laid down some roses on the spot where she died. I said a final prayer, took another deep breath and wondered to myself if the intense ache in my chest would ever ease…
I will always hold on to the vision of her striding through the forest, reaching up and snapping off branches to fan herself down with. Her huge ears flapping elegantly, her long legs marching confidently, her devoted mahout following her faithfully…
Naamfon, I can not find the words to express just how deeply you have touched us. Be free you beautiful lady. Be happy and be you. Walk and run in the long green grass, play in the muddy rivers and trumpet loud – you were loved and you will always be remembered.
